My Subjective Reality Experiment

I’ve been reading the latest blogs by Steve Pavlina (www.stevepavlina.com), a very popular personal development blogger. He’s talking about his 30-day trial into Subjective Reality. You have objective reality, where the universe exists and your consciousness arises within it, and then you have subjective reality, where your consciousness exists and that’s all. You create everything around you: the coffee that you buy at Starbucks, the annoying co-worker, the traffic jam, and even the ants crawling on the sidewalk. They are all creations of your consciousness.

It’s a radical departure from the way most people see life and live life. We have a collective belief that the world is a fixed framework and we are beings born into this environment. We claw and fight our way through life because, in objective reality, you don’t really control anything. The ways and whims of the world are forces beyond your command, and you simply do your best to deal and keep up. In objective reality there are divisions of people, schools of different thought, and “the other side”. You are separate from the world, merely existing, sometimes observing, sometimes responding, but never becoming one with the environment around you. How could you? It was here before you, and will be here when you are gone.

In subjective reality, all this changes. There was no world before your consciousness illuminated since you are the creator of your world. There is no traffic jam or annoying co-worker – these are reflections of you. As Steve explains, seeing life as subjective reality is like having a dream. You are both the dreamer and the creator of the dream, and all the characters in the dream are creations of you.

Objective and subjective reality are two perspectives in which to see life. There’s no way to really ascertain if one is the truth and the other a falsity. But when you have a choice of perspectives, it’s key to be able to see and experience all of them, because it enriches your life in unexpected ways.

I’ve been inspired by Steve to do my own experiment into subjective reality and live my life for 30 days with the constant reminder that everything I encounter is a reflection of me. This includes people, circumstances, events large and small, and so on – everything. I’m going to report on my discoveries about once per week and share my revelations or frustrations with you. I’m not sure what to expect since I, like most people, have been living life as though I am not in full control of my world. So, here goes…

08/10/2010: COCONUT JUICE FOR RECYCLING MAN

I just heard the recycling truck pull up, and, instead of ignoring the man who’s working hard to pick up my junk every two weeks and save it from the landfill like I usually do, I decided to bring him a cold can of fresh coconut juice. I gave him the drink and thanked him for working so hard. Was it weird to applaud the recycling man? Maybe. But in the end, it was me that I sent gratitude to, since he’s just a creation of myself. And I do like a cold coconut juice on a hot day.

08/09/2010: VINDICTIVE NEIGHBORS SUCK

My wife and I started a weekly community yoga class at our neighborhood clubhouse a few weeks ago. We went to the homeowners meeting, proposed the project and got approval to post signs around the complex. After the second class, a horribly vindictive and crabby neighbor decided to tear down our signs. We got very upset over this.

I finally ran into the petty thief, a resident of the community who spouted claims that we were defacing the neighborhood and sullying its beauty with our adverts. I countered back that we intended only to bring a healthy weekly activity to the community. Outwardly I beamed diplomacy and good motives. Inwardly I wanted to wring her neck.

For the next few days I replayed various scenarios in my head of how I could scare her just enough to pack her bags and move out of the complex. Her vindictiveness became mine and the cycle of inner aggression began to play out its ugly dance.

I was living in the objective world where she, a dirt bag, was separate from me and doing something to hinder me, hurt me, put sticks in my spokes. But when I switched on the subjective reality filter, then I saw that she IS me and represents a part of me that is vindictive, disrespectful, and petty. I wish this filter was only rose colored, but as it is, it reveals the ugly truth very quickly.

Since she is me, I couldn’t remain angry at her or lay voodoo curses on her every time I walked passed her house. It would be like insulting myself or wishing harm done to myself so I stopped very quickly. Then my wife and I sent silent prayers to her by saying “I’m sorry, I love you.” Sorry for the pain and suffering in her (in me) that gives rise to vindictive aggression, and love to hasten the necessary healing that needs to take place in her (in me).

I haven’t seen her again, but I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of interaction we’ll have this time.

08/08/2010: ATTACK OF THE ANTS

I know it makes some sense to see reflections of you in other people (recall the various proverbs – the eyes are the mirrors of the soul?) but would you be able to see yourself in non-human life forms, like ants?

We’ve been having an ant infestation lately and I’ve been the crazy ant killer. I crush them with glee when they crawl on my kitchen sink and I stomp them with delight when they cross my front patio. It’s a killing party.

The other morning, when I woke up and saw them attacking a little chunk of watermelon in my kitchen, I nearly exploded into a fury of ant termination when I reminded myself of my experiment. I asked myself, what part of me do the ants represent? As ridiculous as that sounds, I discovered an answer.

My wife Jaime and I talked about how the ants came because we didn’t always do the dishes right away and left them in the sink overnight. I’m clean but not a tidiness freak, so I’ll let things get out of hand once in a while. I realized then that the ants represented parts of me that I let get out of hand.

I realized that I could pay my bills more promptly. I realized that I could update my finances more regularly. I realized that I could stay off my computer more and be more focused and productive when I’m on it. I realized that when I get in a rut and start doing things out of routine and not out of passion, I let things slide. I realized that I always need to focus on expressing my deepest passions and truest nature, so that things don’t start to slide.

Within an hour, we had come up for a game plan for the kitchen, and life. We decided to do a better job of cleaning the dishes, and to begin an active strategy to find someone or some organization to help us market and distribute our creative products – our instructional DVDs, music CDs, both of our books, and our fitness and developmental workshops. Yesterday Jaime called a few production agencies, and we’re starting to take steps towards aligning our passions and our finances.

All from a few ants. It’s only been 48 hours, but I haven’t seen them back yet. Coincidence – or just a remnant of my self that’s been heard and met with compassion and understanding?

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I’ll follow up with more observations into my 30-day experiment with subjective reality next week. If you’d rather receive my blogs (since I’ll be sending out the next few weekly) by RSS feed, sign up for a feed in the top right corner of this site. Then send me an email and let me know you’re set up with an RSS reader.

Find Alignment, Not Balance

My wife and I own and operate a yoga-fitness studio called Barefoot Sanctuary that operates out of the largest Whole Foods Market in Las Vegas. We are very lucky to partner and create a community studio space with them because we also have the opportunity to introduce very unique courses into the schedule that we wouldn’t be able to do at other studios. One of those classes is my Handstand Class.

You wouldn’t think that spending an hour on your hands would be an enticing fitness offering, but it’s become quite popular. I’ve had people from all walks, none of them acrobats, come and learn the art of inversion and staying on your hands.

Perhaps the growing success of the class is due to the benefit of getting blood to your head, or the feeling of increasing strength in your shoulders and back but I think the real draw is because it teaches you the actual meaning of finding balance in your life.

Finding balance is a common goal for anyone who is too stressed, too overworked, too tired, and too busy. There are many books and speakers who talk about how to find balance in your life and offer a multitude of tools to do so. Some work and some don’t, but the one commonality of all these tools is that they are all metaphors. They are ideas that you apply to your life by using analogies, symbols, and concepts.

When you learn to do a handstand, however, you don’t deal in concepts or metaphors. You either achieve a balanced state or you don’t. And when you don’t, you fall over. The feedback loop is instantaneous.

When I begin teaching handstands to someone who has never tried it before, I explain that learning to do handstands is not about finding balance, which kind of surprises most people. Learning to do handstands is actually about creating proper alignment.

Think of your body as being divided into three blocks. Imagine that the first block runs from your fingers to your shoulders, the second from your shoulders to your hips, and the last block from your hips to your toes. When you’re inverted in a handstand, your job is to align the blocks on top of each other.

Pretend you are five again and you are playing with a set of Lego blocks. If you put one block on top of the other but put it on the corner, then set the third block on top, again skewed on the corner, your structure might hold only if you secure it with rubber bands and nails. In other words, you’re able to build a tower but it requires additional energy and resources to make it stay.

Another note about balance – you can balance anything, regardless of its shape. Finding balance is really about finding the center of gravity of an object and manoeuvering it so that you place its center of gravity directly over its contact point on the ground. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, try to recall images of acrobats at a circus balancing spinning plates, chairs, or even other people. They are able to balance the object even if it is shaped unusually. (I’ve balanced an unfolded six-foot step ladder, a bicycle, chairs, and people on my chin.)

The lesson is that you can find balance in anything, but that doesn’t mean you want to. What you want to do, especially in proper handstand technique, is to align the body so that balance comes naturally and almost without effort. Then you are using your structure and alignment to maintain your position while using very little energy. You are strong and efficient.

In other words, learning to do a proper handstand is about aligning the three blocks by making sure that your legs are directly over your hips, your hips directly over your chest, your chest directly over your shoulders and your shoulders directly over your hands. It sounds simplistic and it is. It’s simple, but not easy.

It’s not easy at first because aligning all these body parts requires subtle contractions of muscles that you rarely use and stretching of other ligaments that you hardly ever stretch. Most people come into the class with enough strength to hold themselves upside down, but lack the subtle strength and flexibility to position their body in a straight vertical line.

When you finally achieve proper alignment, then finding balance is not really an issue. Since gravity works only in one direction, and if your body blocks are directly on top of each other, then your handstand will be balanced. It can’t and won’t go anywhere. For example, try to balance three wooden blocks when they’re stacked exactly on top of each other. There’s nothing to balance because the alignment makes it balanced.

So, back to the metaphor of life and the issue of finding balance. My suggestion is to stop finding balance in your life and to begin creating alignment instead. Just like the crazy circus acrobats, you can find balance even if your life is a whirlwind with areas that are well over-extended and others that are completely ignored. You can find balance in an out-of-balance lifestyle – it’s just that you’re going to have a work a lot harder to keep it there.

When you create alignment in your life, you begin by identifying your values. Once you know what your values are, you line up three things, just like your body: your thoughts, your actions, and your words.

Having a set of defined values is like gravity to the handstand – you have to know how to position your body relative to the force of gravity. Once you have identified your values, you now also know how to think, act, and speak to align with those values.

Again, the process is simple, but not easy. If you have a life that is chaotic and out of control, then evaluate your ability to follow through with what you say, do, or think. Maybe you don’t fulfill commitments, which breaks your alignment, and forces you to be out of balance. Maybe you smile outwardly at people and cuss inwardly at their incompetence.

Perhaps you do act with integrity but your life is still out of balance. Then consider if your values are yours truly, and if they are reflective of who you are now. Contemplate whether or not you are still living a life based on borrowed values from parents, social circles, or religion.
For example, one of my values is to help people. I remember writing this down on a piece of paper in grade four when we were asked what we wanted to do when we grew up. Since this is one of my core values, I make sure that my thoughts, actions, and words reflect this mission, which is why we have a yoga-fitness studio and I write on personal growth.
So you might not ever come to my handstand class or even try one on your own. I do recommend that you meditate on your values and evaluate your follow through. If you are aligned, then you end up being able to take on more and more work without exhausting yourself or working inefficiently. You experience abundant energy, daily passion for your life – and a sense of balance.

Best Way to Keep Commitments (the Jackie Chan Story)

If you lose focus easily or are not able to fulfill your commitments, there is no shortage of products or systems you can buy to help you stay on track. There are fancy organizers, elaborate goal setting worksheets, and complex computer software. I think they’re mostly junk. Here is what I consider the cheapest, most effective way to stay on track, or in other words, to stay accountable.

3 Motivators

When I am performing on stage, I am motivated by three things: one, to deliver my best performance as an artist, two, to avoid getting injured both physically and emotionally, and three, to impress and wow the audience.

Of the three, the most powerful motivator is to impress the audience. Why?

If I deliver a great performance and no one is there to see it, the performance is self-defeating. No one gets a chance to enjoy it.

If I execute a move and get injured, but no one is there to witness it – the injury is just another injury. There’s less motivation in avoiding injury when no one’s around. That’s why you trip on the sidewalk walking by yourself and fumble on the stairs alone at home.

However, when there’s an audience watching your every step, you want to give a great show, and avoid injuries. Injuries also hurt emotionally when there’s a crowd because of the feeling of humiliation.

Jackie Chan Was Here (Sort Of)

There’s one other factor that influences your ability to be accountable, or to deliver on your commitments. It’s how much the audience means to you. My level of commitment wavers (even though you think it shouldn’t) depending on who’s in the seats. If it’s a crowd of free-loaders who got cheap tickets at the discount kiosque, I perform at a slightly reduced level. If it’s somebody famous or meaningful to me, I’ll put on my best.

One evening, when I was performing in Cirque du Soleil’s KA, a cast member backstage said that Jackie Chan was in the house. If you know Jackie Chan from his movies, you’ll also know that he is one of the biggest stunt-martial artists in history, with films spanning three decades. His name is off the charts.

When I heard he was said to be in the audience, I went crazy with my performance, as did half the cast. We added extra twists, jumped a little higher, and played our characters just a little meaner. We were on fire.

Then we found out it was just a rumor and Jackie Chan was never actually there. The powerful realization is that just the mere thought of Jackie Chan in the audience solicited one of my best performances ever. If only he were in the house…

How to Keep Any Commitment

Here are the 3 best rules to keep your commitments:

1. Choose only the people you would never want to admit your failure or laziness to.
2. Choose at least 10 people to be your Accountability Masters – I’ve never felt terribly motivated to perform for groups of less than 10. You can run from one, two, or even five people, but you can’t hide from ten.
3. Choose the people who will be as strict and as demanding as a paying audience would. Don’t choose a soft friend who will forgive you at every turn.

My Real Life Application

Although I learned the value of accountability from my performing career, I discovered the power of selecting Accountability Masters from my mentor, Raymond Aaron. Raymond is my mentor and my metaphoric “audience” in business and finance. He keeps me on my goals. He’s also someone I highly admire, respect, and honor in his wisdom and lessons. Not only does he teach well, but he walks his talk.

When I finished performing in KA several years ago, my life switched very quickly from being a full time (and paid bi-weekly) circus artist to being an entrepreneur. I was faced with the question of how to pay my bills, pay my rent, and then also pay for an upcoming wedding.

As a new entrepreneur, I made many mistakes, such as investing in useless Internet gimmicks, so-called expert resources, and spent too much money on frivolous things like eating at restaurants and signing up for monthly services which I never used. (How many of those do you have?)

I quickly found myself in debt. After getting married and stumbling through my first year as an entrepreneur, I was $16,000 in debt.

To some it may be nothing. To others it may be the end of the world. For me, it was somewhere in between. I was drained by the idea of debt, deflated that my first year as a businessman didn’t produce pots of gold, and clueless as to how to eradicate the debt and move on.

Raymond Aaron’s (My Mentor) Advice

It was then that I followed Raymond’s advice and applied the power of accountability to pay off my debt.

The first step was to choose my Accountability Masters, who I called “Debt Masters”. You can call them anything you want that is appropriate for your goals. I have a new set of masters who I now call “Wealth Masters”.

The second step was to make sure I found 10 masters.

And the third step was to make sure they had the power over me to keep me accountable, so I chose people I would never have wanted to admit my debt to.

Like my in-laws.

And my parents.

And my best friends.

And… my mentor. Ouch, this was hard. I knew Raymond was going to keep me in line.

These people were all difficult choices. I squirmed in humiliation and embarrassment when I called each one of them to ask them to perform this duty for me. I expected rebuttals, stern consternation, and an “I-told-you-so” response.

In fact what I discovered is that every single one of my Debt Masters was receptive and encouraging of my goals. No one belittled me, tried to embarrass me, or thought less of me. It was a liberating act to tell the ones I love the most that I was in trouble financially, and it was ever so empowering to discover that the courage of being vulnerable was rewarded with love.

As soon as I followed Raymond’s program called “The Debt Crusher”, my debt began to decrease monthly. Not a month went by after I started that my debt increased, and most months it dropped significantly. Now, I live absolutely debt free. The most significant part is that I developed the skills to 1) make money when I need to and 2) reduce and eliminate debt quickly.

None of these results would have happened without my Accountability Masters. I followed Raymond’s Debt Crusher to the letter, and the results were solid.

What Next?

I followed a very specific protocol of steps with Raymond’s Debt Crusher, which I will see if I am at liberty to pass on to you in the next blog. Stay tuned.

-Alvin.

How To Make Lasting 2010 Resolutions

You may be familiar with the usual rush of New Year’s resolutions. January is filled with new promises – vows to be thinner, stronger, smarter, wealthier, happier, healthier. You may have experienced the exhilarating euphoria of making new commitments, feeling an inner renaissance of mind and body, the pristine promise land of a second chance for a better this or a faster that. You may have also noticed the roller coaster drop in motivation that happens when the excitement dies, the holiday spirit fades, and the bitter winter sets in. Why is it so hard to stay committed to our resolutions?

There are two ways to stay on track with your commitments: one, understand the root of the word resolution, and two, make yourself accountable. In this post, I’ll cover the first way.

Understand the Root of Your Resolution

In order to stick to your resolutions and stay motivated to follow through with your promises, it’s important to first understand what the word “resolution” actually means. To make a resolution is commonly interpreted as making a commitment, but the answer as to how to make the commitment and carry through with it is hidden within its root meaning. Here’s how I break it down, using the Online Etymology Dictionary:

1. SOLVE: To solve comes from the Latin root solvere meaning to  “loosen, dissolve”.
2. SOLUTION: From Latin solutionem, a loosening or unfastening.
3. RESOLUTION: From Latin resolutionem, the process of reducing things into simpler forms.

Therefore making a resolution is the act of loosening, breaking down, and simplifying.

Think about why you make resolutions in the first place: to overcome an existing challenge or manifest a currently non-existent circumstance. Either process is about breaking down components to its most fundamental elements. Challenges are best met with a relaxed state of mind, a calm center, and by using the minimal energy required to execute the task.

When I first learned how to do a standing back flip I injected the same amount of energy into the movement as I would have needed for a 400-meter sprint. Every muscle was tense – while my quadriceps pushed massively upwards to launch my body skywards, my hamstrings contracted in response and pulled against my push. Despite my best efforts my initial flips were laborious, rotated slowly, and required much force.

Now, I put the same amount of energy into a back flip as I would doing a simple squat jump. The solution to my hasty, heavy, hindered flips were to resolve my tension – to dissolve, break down, loosen.

When I am relaxed, focused on applying only the energy necessary by understanding what muscles are required, I can be loose, agile, and flexible. I overcome the challenge by finding a solution, or dissolving the barrier.

How to Make A Lasting Resolution

Since the act of making a resolution is the act of breaking down and simplifying, ask where areas of tension or blockages exist in your life. These are good starting points to construct your strategy to resolve them. Commonly, people make the error of saying things like:

• I will lose 30 pounds this year.
• I will make an additional $20,000 this year.
• I will get a job promotion.
• I will take a 4 week vacation.

If you read these statements out loud, you’ll notice they are missing two elements: relaxation and joy. Without these qualities in the statements, you would be setting yourself up for an arduous battle, constantly fighting the circumstances, wondering why things don’t turn out the way you want them to. There is a better way. Back to the dictionary:

1. RESOLVE: To loosen, dissolve. Also means “determination”, usage first recorded in 1592.
2. DETERMINE: From Latin determinare, to set limits to, and from terminare, to mark the end of, boundary.

If we combine the original meanings of the words “resolution” and “determination (originating from resolve)”, we discover a very interesting interpretation for your New Year’s resolutions.

RESOLUTION: To limit tension, tightness, and blockages by loosening, dissolving, and simplifying.

So, rather than adopt a forceful attitude to get things done right this year, try the opposite approach of relaxing, flowing, and letting events occur naturally. This is against society’s highly rewarded type A individuals, contrary to the attitude that “hard work” is the answer to everything.

Resolution is therefore an act of limiting stress, or the assertive attitude that you will not allow disharmony and complication into your life. Your conscious choice is a path of simplification, dissolution and the active refusal of anything that unfavorably brings about tension.

The interesting conclusion is that resolution is not even a thing you do (lose 30 pounds, run a marathon, spend more time with the kids) but a state of mind from which you execute your actions.

Alvin’s Acrofit System & Soul Acrobats Featured In Las Vegas Weekly

Reporter and writer extraordinaire Todd Witcher and photographer Bill Hughes covered an incredible story on the Acrofit System and Soul Acrobats. If you’re not sure what they are, Soul Acrobats is all about promoting FITNESS FOR YOUR SOUL, while the Acrofit System teaches your FITNESS FOR YOUR BODY. Todd did an amazing job of piecing the philosophy of body and soul together along with how the process involves getting to know fear intimately. I’ll leave it to Todd’s magnificent writing to explain the rest.

The article is featured in this week’s Las Vegas Weekly and I got a 2-PAGE spread! Here’s the link to the online article:

http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/news/2009/may/07/leaps-faith/

On A Billboard In Las Vegas!

Deeper Truths

As some of you may already know, I am training for my very first adventure race. What is an adventure race you ask?

Well it is a 12 hour or more trek across barren desert on a mountain bike and whatever is on your feet. The event is mixed in with bouts of swimming and kayaking. This is not a solo sport – you have team members, navigation skills, and immense strategy.

My realization that I want to share with you this week is that I fell into the trap of telling others about the adventure race because it would feed my ego. In fact, whenever I told somebody I was going to do this race, I emphasized how little I knew about it, thereby magnifying the WOW factor of actually doing it.

My dear guide Carrie and my lovely fiancee Jaime turned the mirror quickly in my face and made me ask myself, why am I doing this race? Why would I want to push myself so hard? Is it all just for momentary admiration or is there something deeper?

I realized there is greater depth in doing this race but I let ego take over for a while – like a cloud obscuring the true radiance of the sun. I realized that I really do love to explore, mountain bike and be in nature. That is the reason I am doing this race.

So… I leave you with this thought. What do you brag about, boast about, talk about repeatedly that is merely a way to reinforce your ego? Your sense of status, achievement, power? And then… what is the true motivation behind those activities? You may discover something quite sincere, quite true, yet covered by a different (and false) story.

Happy Uncoverings,
Alvin.