How to Overcome Fear

Fear grows like an insidious virus, first scratching the surface of the polished veneer of your confidence like an innocent itch, then nestling deeper and deeper into your well of courage, until finally, it violently throttles your entire being, restlessly taunting you with nightmares of trainwrecks, snakes, and ghosts.

Or not.

Stopping the spread of fear happens in minute, small increments. Occasionally, you might be able to crack the glass ceiling by hurdling yourself upwards through adversity in one Herculean leap of faith – but more commonly, you’ll take it one step at a time. The changes will be small, barely noticeable, but will create long-lasting results.

The trick to stopping the spread of fear is to recognize the subtle masks that fear wears. Fear in our daily lives does not usually manifest itself as hooded terrorists with machine guns, rapists wielding machetes, or killer viruses that annihilate entire cities in a day. Fear makes its stealthy appearance through the back door with comments disguised as cynicism, sarcasm, and anger.
Perhaps you’ve been told on your birthday that “you’re only a few years from being over the hill.” Or the day after you were married, you were warned that “the honeymoon is now over.” Maybe you have kids now and recall your friends predicting the demise of your romantic life. The tone of cynicism and sarcasm is thick and pervading, and you probably waived off their nauseous comments with a polite smile or even a forced laugh.

Don’t let their heedless jeers sink in though. The moment you are bombarded with petty cynicism and sarcasm, you have a choice: accept the profanity or reject it. Societal standards make it permissable to be victims of thoughtless jokes without realizing that the actual force behind this low-level commentary is fear. It could be fear about growing old, losing physical capabilities, or never being able to experience again the glory days of youth. It could be fear about not being able to sustain a long term relationship, ending in divorce, or defiling your commitment with your wanderlust ways of bachelorhood. Regardless of what the fear is about, recognize that others may attempt to project their unspoken shadows unto you, subtlely taking you down with their sinking ship. Misery likes company.

You can stop fear when you are able to recognize the mask. Cynicism and sarcasm almost always reflect a deeper, hidden anxiety that spews out in random, uncontrolled bursts, like a scalding geyser blowing out  of a narrow fissure. The dramatic eruptions on the surface distract us from the mounting friction below.

Your course of action is non-action. To not react, respond, or partake in the game of cynicism and saracasm is to effectively reject it and reinforce your ability to safeguard your beliefs, your intentions, and your dreams. You become stronger, more confident, and courageous. These qualities do not call forth massive effort, but require you to develop greater awareness so that you can be non-reactive. Where do you encounter cynicism and sarcasm? Perhaps your workplace has a self-appointed comedian whose mission is to slay his colleagues with senseless verbal jabs. The media is also inundated with false alarms, phony pundits, and bogus claims. Look around you with your radar set for cynicism and sarcasm, and you’ll see that this seemingly benign and normal behavior is everywhere.

Anger is a step up in intensity from sarcasm and cynicism but still functions most of the time to hide a deeper fear. This is not the kind of anger that spontaneously erupts in self-preservation – a car swerving toward you, a threatening gesture made against your children, or a stalking figure following you in dark, deserted alley. This is the brewing, simmering kind, the type of anger that maliciously oozes out to incinerate happiness, optimism, and well-being.

Anger begets anger, and the angered becomes the perpetrator. The vengeful cycle is closed and the flames of battle spark while both parties completely miss the point. What is the point? Neither one has realized that the fuel for their anger is fear.

When you recognize that your anger, or another’s anger draws its strength from fear, you diminish the intensity of your rage. Sometimes your anger even  completely disappears. The key to transforming anger is understanding the underlying source of its fiery façade. Beneath the tantrum lies a smaller, frightened, and humbled inner kid, one who might have been picked last in gym class to be on the team, or saw the agonizing collapse of her parents’ marriage. Maybe it was the time she was told that she would amount to nothing, or her first kiss that ended in stony rejection.
Anger is a mask that fear wears. The next time you are faced with a belligerent imbecile, indignant and lewd, stop to wonder what he might be afraid of, not what he’s angry about. Wonder if he was hurt in some way, if his partner left him, if he just lost his job. Wonder if he had alcoholic parents, if he was abused as a child, if he grew up in a tough neighborhood. It doesn’t matter if you are right or wrong in your hunches; what matters is that you wonder. The more you wonder, the more you develop compassion. The more you embody compassion, the easier it is to accept fear. As you begin to accept fear, it transmutes all by itself and becomes courage. The transmutation of fear begins with understanding, and finishes with courage.

When you are able to do this with someone else, try it on yourself. While it is easy to point fingers, the conclusive test is whether or not you can see your own fear through your anger.
So stopping the spread of fear is not really about stopping anything. It’s about developing awareness of the different masks that fear wears, and then choosing non-action or compassion. Either way both paths are more efficient, use less energy, and transmute fear.

Find Alignment, Not Balance

My wife and I own and operate a yoga-fitness studio called Barefoot Sanctuary that operates out of the largest Whole Foods Market in Las Vegas. We are very lucky to partner and create a community studio space with them because we also have the opportunity to introduce very unique courses into the schedule that we wouldn’t be able to do at other studios. One of those classes is my Handstand Class.

You wouldn’t think that spending an hour on your hands would be an enticing fitness offering, but it’s become quite popular. I’ve had people from all walks, none of them acrobats, come and learn the art of inversion and staying on your hands.

Perhaps the growing success of the class is due to the benefit of getting blood to your head, or the feeling of increasing strength in your shoulders and back but I think the real draw is because it teaches you the actual meaning of finding balance in your life.

Finding balance is a common goal for anyone who is too stressed, too overworked, too tired, and too busy. There are many books and speakers who talk about how to find balance in your life and offer a multitude of tools to do so. Some work and some don’t, but the one commonality of all these tools is that they are all metaphors. They are ideas that you apply to your life by using analogies, symbols, and concepts.

When you learn to do a handstand, however, you don’t deal in concepts or metaphors. You either achieve a balanced state or you don’t. And when you don’t, you fall over. The feedback loop is instantaneous.

When I begin teaching handstands to someone who has never tried it before, I explain that learning to do handstands is not about finding balance, which kind of surprises most people. Learning to do handstands is actually about creating proper alignment.

Think of your body as being divided into three blocks. Imagine that the first block runs from your fingers to your shoulders, the second from your shoulders to your hips, and the last block from your hips to your toes. When you’re inverted in a handstand, your job is to align the blocks on top of each other.

Pretend you are five again and you are playing with a set of Lego blocks. If you put one block on top of the other but put it on the corner, then set the third block on top, again skewed on the corner, your structure might hold only if you secure it with rubber bands and nails. In other words, you’re able to build a tower but it requires additional energy and resources to make it stay.

Another note about balance – you can balance anything, regardless of its shape. Finding balance is really about finding the center of gravity of an object and manoeuvering it so that you place its center of gravity directly over its contact point on the ground. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, try to recall images of acrobats at a circus balancing spinning plates, chairs, or even other people. They are able to balance the object even if it is shaped unusually. (I’ve balanced an unfolded six-foot step ladder, a bicycle, chairs, and people on my chin.)

The lesson is that you can find balance in anything, but that doesn’t mean you want to. What you want to do, especially in proper handstand technique, is to align the body so that balance comes naturally and almost without effort. Then you are using your structure and alignment to maintain your position while using very little energy. You are strong and efficient.

In other words, learning to do a proper handstand is about aligning the three blocks by making sure that your legs are directly over your hips, your hips directly over your chest, your chest directly over your shoulders and your shoulders directly over your hands. It sounds simplistic and it is. It’s simple, but not easy.

It’s not easy at first because aligning all these body parts requires subtle contractions of muscles that you rarely use and stretching of other ligaments that you hardly ever stretch. Most people come into the class with enough strength to hold themselves upside down, but lack the subtle strength and flexibility to position their body in a straight vertical line.

When you finally achieve proper alignment, then finding balance is not really an issue. Since gravity works only in one direction, and if your body blocks are directly on top of each other, then your handstand will be balanced. It can’t and won’t go anywhere. For example, try to balance three wooden blocks when they’re stacked exactly on top of each other. There’s nothing to balance because the alignment makes it balanced.

So, back to the metaphor of life and the issue of finding balance. My suggestion is to stop finding balance in your life and to begin creating alignment instead. Just like the crazy circus acrobats, you can find balance even if your life is a whirlwind with areas that are well over-extended and others that are completely ignored. You can find balance in an out-of-balance lifestyle – it’s just that you’re going to have a work a lot harder to keep it there.

When you create alignment in your life, you begin by identifying your values. Once you know what your values are, you line up three things, just like your body: your thoughts, your actions, and your words.

Having a set of defined values is like gravity to the handstand – you have to know how to position your body relative to the force of gravity. Once you have identified your values, you now also know how to think, act, and speak to align with those values.

Again, the process is simple, but not easy. If you have a life that is chaotic and out of control, then evaluate your ability to follow through with what you say, do, or think. Maybe you don’t fulfill commitments, which breaks your alignment, and forces you to be out of balance. Maybe you smile outwardly at people and cuss inwardly at their incompetence.

Perhaps you do act with integrity but your life is still out of balance. Then consider if your values are yours truly, and if they are reflective of who you are now. Contemplate whether or not you are still living a life based on borrowed values from parents, social circles, or religion.
For example, one of my values is to help people. I remember writing this down on a piece of paper in grade four when we were asked what we wanted to do when we grew up. Since this is one of my core values, I make sure that my thoughts, actions, and words reflect this mission, which is why we have a yoga-fitness studio and I write on personal growth.
So you might not ever come to my handstand class or even try one on your own. I do recommend that you meditate on your values and evaluate your follow through. If you are aligned, then you end up being able to take on more and more work without exhausting yourself or working inefficiently. You experience abundant energy, daily passion for your life – and a sense of balance.

We Live In A World Of Trust

After 15 years of professional performing in the circus, I realize that we live in a world of trust. When I perform a high flying act, supported only by cables and carabiners, I trust that the equipment will work. When I tumble across the stage in a rapid succession of back handsprings, I trust that other artists on stage will move on time, and clear the space for me. Others trust me to catch them when I throw them into the air for a double back flip, or to correctly attach their safety lines to their harnesses 60 feet in the air. I trust myself when I light my poi on fire and spin it in rapid arcs around my body. Trust is as palpable and real as the show itself, the glue that holds together a thinly fabricated illusion of seamless choreography, characters, and story line. I am fascinated by how much we trust each other, how much we trust the machines and systems that run our lives, and how horribly denying it is to our spirit to not be able to see the bountiful sea of trust that surrounds us, bathes us, and carries us.

You don’t have to be an acrobat in a dangerous circus show to recognize that trust is everywhere. Consider, and be amazed by, the many and varied acts of trust you perform when you drive to work. First, you trust that your car will start the way it was designed – you expect that the technology inside your vehicle will work correctly, and not detonate in a massive fireball on your driveway. You calmly turn the key despite the fact that you are sitting only a few feet from a bathtub full of gasoline, and that this highly explosive fuel is forcefully funneled through a super heated engine block and deliberately ignited with an electric spark.

As you drive down the road, listening to the radio, observing the weather, reading billboards, checking voicemail, and sipping your morning coffee, be astonished it is not a regular occurrence that no one has yet jumped the yellow line, careening wildly into you in a head-on collision. Be joyful that your fellow comrades on their way to work also acknowledge that they each command a multi-ton weapon of encased metal and rubber, capable of snuffing out the life of any pedestrian nonchalantly meandering across the street – but most of the time, don’t.

And speaking of pedestrians, rejoice in the knowledge that you can cross the street because we all made an implicit agreement that red means stop, and green means go. After all, they are just random colors of the rainbow and don’t have any real meaning, except for the ones we give them.

So your successful arrival at work, or wherever you are going, depends on two things: first, that we give meaning to meaningless things, and second, that we agree to continuously agree to the meaning. What greater daily demonstration of trust is there than to see millions of people consciously stopping their vehicles of mass destruction when they see the color red? Think of the millions of lives that are saved every year by this collective nod.

And this is only the drive to work. Now look inwards and consider what happens within your body on a second-to-second basis. The miracle of life is the miracle of total, complete, and binding trust. Your lungs are expanding and contracting, your heart is beating and pumping, and your eyes are absorbing light patterns while your brain is expeditiously processing trillions of bytes of information. These occurrences happen thousands, if not millions of times a day under the veil of the autonomic nervous system, completely unconscious to your waking thoughts, dutifully performing their life supporting functions without so much of a complaint or gripe. You trust that when you wake in the morning, your blood will still be flowing through your arteries, and your intestinal tract will have processed enough of the late night cheesecake to provide energy for the start of your day. It’s a miracle to think that, at any point, this intricate fabric of interdependent systems can be so easily interrupted, and life as we know it will end.

Living is trusting and is the greatest testament that the values of trust are alive and well. The next time you hear someone, or perhaps yourself say, “I can’t trust…”, contemplate the millions of examples that occur every moment that are life supporting and not life taking. Then contemplate how simple it is to cut the thinly attached chords of trust with a benign act, like driving down the wrong side of the road, or throwing bags of trash out the window of your 10th story apartment. And why wouldn’t you? It’s faster than bringing garbage down the stairs, but you don’t because we’ve all agreed to the value of life, which is the value of trust.

You might be silently screaming that mistrust does exist and that horrible trespasses against our collective agreements do occur. People do get run over by cars, murders and wars happen, and hearts cease their vital beating. There is no doubt that the execution of the trust act is not total and all-pervading. Not everyone, or every system functions perfectly.

You may have been lied to, manipulated by, or transgressed upon somehow in the past. The sensation of boundaries crossed and opportunities stolen is weighty and sobering. It is not helpful to simply say that the past is the past because your thoughts happen in the present.

What is helpful then is to remark that your present moment is replete with miraculous illustrations of trust. The question, how to trust again, is also the question of how to live again. And living by being, not thinking, strategizing, doing, or analyzing, is the answer to living again.

Living by being is a daily practice of conscious observation. What are you observing? You are rediscovering that ordinary events that normally occur without so much of a thought are in fact stupendous examples of trust. Begin observing simple, routine acts with an open and curious mind.

When I am on stage and a fellow artist is quick enough to catch me from an accidental fall, or remembers to correctly attach my safety line to my harness, I know that we live in a world of trust. When I drive through an intersection and see all the cars stopped at their red light, or get to work without trying to dodge an oncoming truck, I know that we live in a world of trust. And when I wake in the morning and open my eyes to the sunrise or take a deep breath in, I know that we live in a world of trust.

I Went Homeless So You Don’t Have To

Every now and then I will do strange experiments to push my  boundaries of comfort further. Being an acrobat in the circus means that I attempt flips, handstands, and high falls to challenge my physical skills and grow as an athlete. Being an acrobat of the soul means that I challenge my values, belief systems, and automatic behaviors so that I grow as a human being.

(Watch the video interview about my experience by the Las Vegas Weekly now.)

Last December, on a chilly winter day, I decided to challenge a deeply rooted fear I had by spending 24 hours on the street homeless. I carried no credit cards, cash, I.D., cell phone, house keys, extra jackets, tissue papers, chapstick, iPod (what else do you usually leave the house with?)

I set off in the direction of downtown, carried by my own two feet, dressed in a tattered sweats, to challenge a fear (read: belief) that my failure as a businessman would lead to me being homeless.

I believed the equation: financial failure = homelessness. Do you believe this too?

I did and I needed to confront it. I chose to experience homelessness for 24 hours. Here are the highlights:
•    you can’t thumb a ride in Las Vegas if you look like a bum
•    panhandling is one of the most difficult things to do
•    I’m not a good panhandler; I made $2 in 24 hours
•    nothing costs less than a dollar, except for bananas at 7-11
•    it gets cold at night, even in Las Vegas
•    misery likes company – I never realized how many homeless people there are
•    people look at you with hate in their eyes when you beg
I literally walked for 12 of the 24 hours because no one would pick me up and I had no money for the bus. I also got kicked out of a public library, so sitting down in a quiet, warm place was not an option.

I ended up walking to the worst part of Las Vegas, the hidden, swept-under-the-rug part called “Tent Village” because of all the bums living in tents on the side of the road.

(Watch the video interview about my experience by the Las Vegas Weekly now.)

There I encountered hundreds of homeless men milling about, exchanging words about where to get the next meal, who’s handing out free socks, how many nights the local shelter lets you stay, and the best places to bum for money.

When I bumped into another group of men, the conversation was the same. Another group, same conversation.

That’s when it struck me.

I can never be homeless.

I don’t say that with an arrogant or pretentious intention. I say it because I simply don’t talk like a homeless person which is to say I don’t think like a homeless person.

And that was the kernel of wisdom of my exploration into my fear of financial failure. I realized that though I could fail in business, I could never become homeless. I just don’t have the belief that I would end up on the streets.

I do speak like a professional acrobat. While others are scared about heights, rapidly moving vehicles, and fire, I get enthused and excited.

I do speak like a professional marketer. While others are lamenting about the economy, I talk about new online marketing techniques, social networking, blogging, and computer technology.

But…

I don’t speak like a millionaire entrepreneur. While millionaires are busy talking about their next deal, strategizing on new partnerships, and planning an investment, I talk about covering my mortgage, putting gas in my car, and the 3 for 1 special on avocados at the store. I spend too much time talking like an average income producer.

What do you talk about?

Here are the 3 things you can do to benefit from my experience on the streets:

1. Write down everything you say in 1 day.
2. Listen to the conversations or language of someone you want to emulate (a business person, a great athlete, a professional speaker)
3. Have a conversation with a homeless person and listen to his dialogue.

If you notice, all these activities are simply about building awareness, since awareness is the main catalyst for change.
(Watch the video interview about my experience by the Las Vegas Weekly now.)

***
I would love to hear from you. I always respond to every email I receive personally, so this is what I want to learn from you:

What is one fear you’ve overcome and HOW did you do it?

No Shoes For A Stranger

This is once of my favorite excerpts from my book, The Art of Impossible. It’s a lesson on staying humble, changing perceptions, and being open to miracles in the most unexpected places. Enjoy!

No Shoes For A Stranger

1996. I am in beautiful Brazil. 40 degrees Celsius. I am sweating my entire body weight. 20 kids. I am teaching circus to a group of underprivileged youth under a makeshift big top. I thought I was there to share my enlightened wisdom of a North American professional performer. Actually I was there to have one of the most humbling learning experiences of my life.

Round-off, back handspring, back tuck. Again. And again. This is the routine that the kids are practicing. There is a dilapidated stretch of foam, 15 feet long, 3 feet wide, that separates the thudding impact of the kids’ bare feet from the packed concrete floor. It is hardly worth calling a tumbling mat, but the kids don’t seem to mind. The environment is enthusiastic. They are laughing, joking with each other, challenging one another to flip a little higher, a little faster, with a little more style.

I am teaching with my whole heart. There is nothing more inspiring than watching youth absorb themselves in the passion of creating a world of athletic artistry, with nothing more than a round concrete slab for the circus ring and pieces of wood and tape for juggling clubs. Here, under the tarnished blue and white chapiteau, dreams gather momentum, hardships forgotten, and kinships tightened. We are the circus of no time, no place, with no cares in the world except to let our hearts sing with the challenge of pushing ourselves joyfully to the edge.

I am fully absorbed in spotting a teenager execute a back flip when the head coach tells us that he needs the space for a new class and that we have to vacate the big top. Where to, I ask? We had the choice between hard concrete (at least it was shaded) and the dusty, gravel-filled grounds of the surrounding park (not shaded). The head coach shrugs. I’m on my own.

We file out from the cool protection of the chapiteau into the blazing Brazilian sun. The ground is littered with tiny rocks, broken glass, and pointy acorns that have fallen from surrounding trees. This is no runway for acrobats, let alone kids without shoes.

No sooner do I complete a hopeless evaluation of the new training grounds when I see the kids catapulting themselves into flips and handsprings. Not glass, rocks, or dust could stop them. There was no lack of enthusiasm either. It was as if any place could be their kingdom, their empire.
One of the kids calls to me. He asks me to show them that flip I do, the one that everyone wants to learn. It’s my favorite move, maybe because it’s the one I learned without almost trying, and the one that I’ve done in every show. I do a cartwheel and spring up sideways, rotate grabbing my knees and land like a cat. They want me to show them. I say yes.

That’s when I realize that I am the only one with shoes on. Not just any kind of sneaker – I am wearing the specialized athletic shoe that you get in North America at elite training stores for eighty bucks a pop. They’re worn-in and dusty, but light as a feather with that cool, flighty bounce that fires me skyward. I look down at my sleek Asics. I look over at their bare feet. A wave of embarrassment washes over me.

I am lucky to be born in North America. I have had the best in every respect – never been homeless, never been without clothes on my back, never been faced with begging for my next meal. It is a precious reality that is fabricated like a delicate veil that covers our daily perceptions of life. It is also a veil that can be easily pierced to reveal the deep, wounded scars of humanity. And at that moment, the full pain of countless suppressed societies floods my senses and moves me in inexplicable ways. At that moment, I realize that my good fortune in life is not a treasure to be stowed away, but to be shared and given away at every opportunity.

The kids are calling on me still. They are relentless, the way teenagers are. I look down again at my comfortable trainers, then over to their hardened, bare soles. In a robotic, dreamy way, I reach down and remove my shoes. I don’t know how the rocks are going to feel against my tender, fleshy under-pads, spoiled by years of cushioned air shocks and lycra-enhanced athletic socks. All I can do is to save my dignity and hope that I land on my feet without showing too much pain.

I ready myself for the flip. I don’t think that even the pressure of performing in a show has ever made me this nervous for a routine. I take a breath. I look for patches without rocks, glass, or acorns. There aren’t any. It doesn’t matter – I am this far, naked without my classy Asics. I throw myself into my tumbling sequence.

Five seconds later it is over. The kids cheer, happy to see the cool side-flip. I look down a last time, wondering if I will need tetanus shots to counter the gaping wounds on the bottom of my feet. But there is no blood, no trail of red along the dirt. Only a few scratches grace my skin, with the sting of landing just a little too hard on the packed gravel. I am okay, but my concept of reality has taken a beating.

I learn that day that I am not there to teach them. That day I am there to learn from them. I learn that their passion is boundless and not restricted by a few rocks or broken beer bottles. Their love for life is not held back by the symbols of poverty – being shoeless and shirtless – but exists without consideration for what they have or what they do. They simply exude generosity, even when we might think they have nothing to be grateful for. That day I learn that gratitude has nothing to do with what you have, and everything to do with what you give.

Personal Development and Law of Attraction Carnival 2nd Edition

Thank you to all the bloggers for your amazing submissions. I’ve learned so much from reading about your stories, absorbing your wisdom, and connecting with the blogging community on inspiring others to better and more fulfilling lifestyles. For my regular readers, you’ll find a wealth of information to catapult you to your next step.

-Alvin

Luciano Easley presents 7 Essential Free Web Apps for Student Athletes posted at sports management colleges.

MoneyNing presents How to Succeed by Failing Fast posted at Money Ning.

Tod presents Strive for More or Be Satisfied Where You Are? posted at A Blog by Tod.

Wally Bock presents The Bad Boyfriend/Girlfriend Job posted at Momentor.

Steven Handel presents How To Think Less And Do More: Turning Life Into Flow posted at The Emotion Machine.

Wendy Blue presents Open.edu: Top 50 University Open Courseware Collections posted at online university rankings 2010.

Dawneright presents A New Kind of Strong – Discipline posted at Bashing Perfect.

Gordon Rosado presents What Exactly Is a BSN and Why pick it As a Degree Choice? posted at RN To BSN Program.

Jennifer Meyer presents Top 50 Biblical History Blogs posted at Accredited Online Bible

Eadwine Walter presents How to: Get a Massage for Cheap (or Even Free) posted at Masters in Physical Therapy.

Faizal Nisar presents What is Positive Thinking? posted at Be Truly Happy.

RagsToRich presents Becoming intensely driven – 3 traps to avoid when fuelling your goals posted at The Real Mind.

Wallet Blogger presents 5 Free Online Calendars and Personal Planners To Organize Your Life posted at The Smarter Wallet.

Basil Hager presents 7 Web Apps to Find a Better Hotel Deal posted at Hospitality Management Colleges.

Richard Shelmerdine presents 7 Tips To Deal With Someones Ego posted at Richard Shelmerdine.

Digerati Life presents Stop Worrying About How You Got Into Debt and Start Focusing On How To Get Out posted at The Digerati Life.

Alan Crosby presents 7 Essential Free Web Apps for Career Management posted at Online Career Schools.

Dan Stelter presents Creating a Purpose Driven Life posted at Anxiety Support Network.

Vincent presents Do You Make This Mistake? – Learn The Art Of Eliminating Negative Self Talk posted at HealthMoneySuccess.com.

Frank Goley presents BUSINESS SUCCESS STRATEGIES » Blog Archive » Why a Business Plan is so Important to your Business Success posted at BUSINESS SUCCESS STRATEGIES.

Aparna presents Kapalabhati Pranayam posted at Beauty and Personal Grooming.

Aparna presents Kapalabhati Pranayam posted at Beauty and Personal Grooming.

Baily Hayden presents 10 Tips to Help You Choose the Right Forensic Science Career posted at Masters in Forensic Science.

Mike presents Is Law School Worth The Cost? posted at The Frugal Law Student.

Lisa Taylor presents 101 Blog Posts Every New Nurse Should Read posted at Nurse Practitioner Schools.

Kurama Chick presents The Secret To Reaping More Rewards From Life | Kurama Magazine posted at Kurama Magazine.

Chris presents Online Masters Classes posted at Distance Learning Education Degree.

Sonia Gallagher presents Work Life Balance Results in a Fulfilled Life | Time for Life, LLC posted at Time for Life, LLC.

Danea Horn presents Affirmations That Work posted at Affirmation Blog.

Neil Uttamsingh presents Robert Kiyosaki — Friend or Foe? posted at We provide knowledge and confidence to those individuals looking to buy their first rental property.

nissim ziv presents Career Transitions: What Are Your Mental Resources? posted at Job Interview & Career Guide.

Mike King presents 100 Ways to Serve Others posted at Learn This.

Covert Hypnotist presents What Hypnosis is NOT! posted at Conversational and Covert Hypnosis Blog.

amdin presents How to Shape your Life by Habit Creation posted at Personal Development for Serious Achievers.

michaelweaver4 presents What is Your Art? The Real You. posted at Find Inspiration Today l� Find Inspiration & Personal Development Today.

Maureen Fitzsimmons presents Top 50 Ecumenical Blogs posted at bible college.

Myles presents The friend who doesn’t want to try new things. posted at Abunai means Dangerous..

Steven presents Review: 100 Ways To Screw Up Your Life posted at The Emotion Machine.

Richard Shelmerdine presents Lessons From a Month of Meditation posted at

Dan Stelter presents What Are Boundaries? posted at Anxiety Support Network.

Frank Goley presents Small Business Finance: Equity, Debt, Cash Flow and IPO posted at Business Success Strategies by ABC Business Consulting.

Faizal Nisar presents 10 Benefits of Positive Thinking posted at Be Truly Happy – Self Improvement.

MoneyNing presents No One Became Wealthy Worrying for Others posted at Money Ning.

Anya presents Cold Calling Blues? posted at Gavin Ingham.

Jackie Powell presents Honest Fear posted at eskyoo.

Anmol Mehta presents Best Yoga for Weight Loss – Complete with Illustrated Yoga Poses and Exercises posted at Free Online Yoga and Meditation Center.

Katie Freeman presents 25 Free iPhone Applications to Help You Stay Healthy posted at Masters in Health Care.

Vincent presents 5 Personal Finance Lessons I Had Picked Up From Warren Buffett That Can Help You Grow Your Wealth and Be Rich posted at HealthMoneySuccess.com.

Joy Sears presents 10 Famous Managers Who Changed the World posted at Master in Management.

Thailand Breeze presents Learning To Trust posted at axel g.

Stephen Martile presents Feeling Overwhelmed? Try This! | Learn the Power of Your Subconscious Mind posted at FreedomEducation.ca by Stephen Martile.

Bert Meert presents The Past Inside Your Present posted at Life, Blogging and The Pursuit of Personal Growth.

Frank Goley presents Strategic Planning for Business Success posted at Business Success Strategies.

Kristie Lewis presents Beyond CliffsNotes: 100 Free & Useful Tools for When Time’s Running Out posted at Online Colleges.org.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents A Valiant Guy’s Guide To Valentine’s Day posted at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog.

Kenrick Chatman presents How to Identify Your Targeted Companies’ Challenges posted at Career Catalyst.

terrence jackson presents HGH supplements posted at HGH supplements.

Byteful Travel presents Create with Passion or DIE posted at Byteful Travel.

Alan H. Wayler, PhD presents Can We Force People to Be Healthy? posted at A WeightLifted.

Beth Bargis presents Creating a Check In Jar posted at My Simpler Life – Simple Living.

Marnie Doyle presents How to Find Your Life’s Passion posted at S.O.S. Your Life–Simplify. Organize. Streamline..

Kristin Conroy presents It’s Affirmative…Affirmations Are Powerful! posted at Words Are Food.

Best Way to Keep Commitments (the Jackie Chan Story)

If you lose focus easily or are not able to fulfill your commitments, there is no shortage of products or systems you can buy to help you stay on track. There are fancy organizers, elaborate goal setting worksheets, and complex computer software. I think they’re mostly junk. Here is what I consider the cheapest, most effective way to stay on track, or in other words, to stay accountable.

3 Motivators

When I am performing on stage, I am motivated by three things: one, to deliver my best performance as an artist, two, to avoid getting injured both physically and emotionally, and three, to impress and wow the audience.

Of the three, the most powerful motivator is to impress the audience. Why?

If I deliver a great performance and no one is there to see it, the performance is self-defeating. No one gets a chance to enjoy it.

If I execute a move and get injured, but no one is there to witness it – the injury is just another injury. There’s less motivation in avoiding injury when no one’s around. That’s why you trip on the sidewalk walking by yourself and fumble on the stairs alone at home.

However, when there’s an audience watching your every step, you want to give a great show, and avoid injuries. Injuries also hurt emotionally when there’s a crowd because of the feeling of humiliation.

Jackie Chan Was Here (Sort Of)

There’s one other factor that influences your ability to be accountable, or to deliver on your commitments. It’s how much the audience means to you. My level of commitment wavers (even though you think it shouldn’t) depending on who’s in the seats. If it’s a crowd of free-loaders who got cheap tickets at the discount kiosque, I perform at a slightly reduced level. If it’s somebody famous or meaningful to me, I’ll put on my best.

One evening, when I was performing in Cirque du Soleil’s KA, a cast member backstage said that Jackie Chan was in the house. If you know Jackie Chan from his movies, you’ll also know that he is one of the biggest stunt-martial artists in history, with films spanning three decades. His name is off the charts.

When I heard he was said to be in the audience, I went crazy with my performance, as did half the cast. We added extra twists, jumped a little higher, and played our characters just a little meaner. We were on fire.

Then we found out it was just a rumor and Jackie Chan was never actually there. The powerful realization is that just the mere thought of Jackie Chan in the audience solicited one of my best performances ever. If only he were in the house…

How to Keep Any Commitment

Here are the 3 best rules to keep your commitments:

1. Choose only the people you would never want to admit your failure or laziness to.
2. Choose at least 10 people to be your Accountability Masters – I’ve never felt terribly motivated to perform for groups of less than 10. You can run from one, two, or even five people, but you can’t hide from ten.
3. Choose the people who will be as strict and as demanding as a paying audience would. Don’t choose a soft friend who will forgive you at every turn.

My Real Life Application

Although I learned the value of accountability from my performing career, I discovered the power of selecting Accountability Masters from my mentor, Raymond Aaron. Raymond is my mentor and my metaphoric “audience” in business and finance. He keeps me on my goals. He’s also someone I highly admire, respect, and honor in his wisdom and lessons. Not only does he teach well, but he walks his talk.

When I finished performing in KA several years ago, my life switched very quickly from being a full time (and paid bi-weekly) circus artist to being an entrepreneur. I was faced with the question of how to pay my bills, pay my rent, and then also pay for an upcoming wedding.

As a new entrepreneur, I made many mistakes, such as investing in useless Internet gimmicks, so-called expert resources, and spent too much money on frivolous things like eating at restaurants and signing up for monthly services which I never used. (How many of those do you have?)

I quickly found myself in debt. After getting married and stumbling through my first year as an entrepreneur, I was $16,000 in debt.

To some it may be nothing. To others it may be the end of the world. For me, it was somewhere in between. I was drained by the idea of debt, deflated that my first year as a businessman didn’t produce pots of gold, and clueless as to how to eradicate the debt and move on.

Raymond Aaron’s (My Mentor) Advice

It was then that I followed Raymond’s advice and applied the power of accountability to pay off my debt.

The first step was to choose my Accountability Masters, who I called “Debt Masters”. You can call them anything you want that is appropriate for your goals. I have a new set of masters who I now call “Wealth Masters”.

The second step was to make sure I found 10 masters.

And the third step was to make sure they had the power over me to keep me accountable, so I chose people I would never have wanted to admit my debt to.

Like my in-laws.

And my parents.

And my best friends.

And… my mentor. Ouch, this was hard. I knew Raymond was going to keep me in line.

These people were all difficult choices. I squirmed in humiliation and embarrassment when I called each one of them to ask them to perform this duty for me. I expected rebuttals, stern consternation, and an “I-told-you-so” response.

In fact what I discovered is that every single one of my Debt Masters was receptive and encouraging of my goals. No one belittled me, tried to embarrass me, or thought less of me. It was a liberating act to tell the ones I love the most that I was in trouble financially, and it was ever so empowering to discover that the courage of being vulnerable was rewarded with love.

As soon as I followed Raymond’s program called “The Debt Crusher”, my debt began to decrease monthly. Not a month went by after I started that my debt increased, and most months it dropped significantly. Now, I live absolutely debt free. The most significant part is that I developed the skills to 1) make money when I need to and 2) reduce and eliminate debt quickly.

None of these results would have happened without my Accountability Masters. I followed Raymond’s Debt Crusher to the letter, and the results were solid.

What Next?

I followed a very specific protocol of steps with Raymond’s Debt Crusher, which I will see if I am at liberty to pass on to you in the next blog. Stay tuned.

-Alvin.

Latest Post On Personal Development and Law of Attraction Site

If you enjoyed my last post, you can now find it at a resource rich personal development site at: http://richgrad.com/personal-development-and-law-of-attraction-carnival-1st-edition/

My next post will be part two of “How to Make Lasting 2010 Resolutions” and will detail how to use accountability to make you stick to your goals.

How To Make Lasting 2010 Resolutions

You may be familiar with the usual rush of New Year’s resolutions. January is filled with new promises – vows to be thinner, stronger, smarter, wealthier, happier, healthier. You may have experienced the exhilarating euphoria of making new commitments, feeling an inner renaissance of mind and body, the pristine promise land of a second chance for a better this or a faster that. You may have also noticed the roller coaster drop in motivation that happens when the excitement dies, the holiday spirit fades, and the bitter winter sets in. Why is it so hard to stay committed to our resolutions?

There are two ways to stay on track with your commitments: one, understand the root of the word resolution, and two, make yourself accountable. In this post, I’ll cover the first way.

Understand the Root of Your Resolution

In order to stick to your resolutions and stay motivated to follow through with your promises, it’s important to first understand what the word “resolution” actually means. To make a resolution is commonly interpreted as making a commitment, but the answer as to how to make the commitment and carry through with it is hidden within its root meaning. Here’s how I break it down, using the Online Etymology Dictionary:

1. SOLVE: To solve comes from the Latin root solvere meaning to  “loosen, dissolve”.
2. SOLUTION: From Latin solutionem, a loosening or unfastening.
3. RESOLUTION: From Latin resolutionem, the process of reducing things into simpler forms.

Therefore making a resolution is the act of loosening, breaking down, and simplifying.

Think about why you make resolutions in the first place: to overcome an existing challenge or manifest a currently non-existent circumstance. Either process is about breaking down components to its most fundamental elements. Challenges are best met with a relaxed state of mind, a calm center, and by using the minimal energy required to execute the task.

When I first learned how to do a standing back flip I injected the same amount of energy into the movement as I would have needed for a 400-meter sprint. Every muscle was tense – while my quadriceps pushed massively upwards to launch my body skywards, my hamstrings contracted in response and pulled against my push. Despite my best efforts my initial flips were laborious, rotated slowly, and required much force.

Now, I put the same amount of energy into a back flip as I would doing a simple squat jump. The solution to my hasty, heavy, hindered flips were to resolve my tension – to dissolve, break down, loosen.

When I am relaxed, focused on applying only the energy necessary by understanding what muscles are required, I can be loose, agile, and flexible. I overcome the challenge by finding a solution, or dissolving the barrier.

How to Make A Lasting Resolution

Since the act of making a resolution is the act of breaking down and simplifying, ask where areas of tension or blockages exist in your life. These are good starting points to construct your strategy to resolve them. Commonly, people make the error of saying things like:

• I will lose 30 pounds this year.
• I will make an additional $20,000 this year.
• I will get a job promotion.
• I will take a 4 week vacation.

If you read these statements out loud, you’ll notice they are missing two elements: relaxation and joy. Without these qualities in the statements, you would be setting yourself up for an arduous battle, constantly fighting the circumstances, wondering why things don’t turn out the way you want them to. There is a better way. Back to the dictionary:

1. RESOLVE: To loosen, dissolve. Also means “determination”, usage first recorded in 1592.
2. DETERMINE: From Latin determinare, to set limits to, and from terminare, to mark the end of, boundary.

If we combine the original meanings of the words “resolution” and “determination (originating from resolve)”, we discover a very interesting interpretation for your New Year’s resolutions.

RESOLUTION: To limit tension, tightness, and blockages by loosening, dissolving, and simplifying.

So, rather than adopt a forceful attitude to get things done right this year, try the opposite approach of relaxing, flowing, and letting events occur naturally. This is against society’s highly rewarded type A individuals, contrary to the attitude that “hard work” is the answer to everything.

Resolution is therefore an act of limiting stress, or the assertive attitude that you will not allow disharmony and complication into your life. Your conscious choice is a path of simplification, dissolution and the active refusal of anything that unfavorably brings about tension.

The interesting conclusion is that resolution is not even a thing you do (lose 30 pounds, run a marathon, spend more time with the kids) but a state of mind from which you execute your actions.

In Shape And Being Healthy

There’s a big difference between being in shape and being healthy. You can be healthy but not be in shape, and you can be in shape but not be in good health. When I was training for the circus I was in great shape. I was a lean 165 pounds, ripped to the core, training 8 to 10 hours a day. I’d start the morning with handstands and finish the day doing chin ups. Three times a week I would train MMA style at the local fighter’s gym and teach self-defense at night. This went on for four years.

But I was not healthy, despite my fit appearance, acrobatic agility, and intense physical lifestyle. I’d start the morning with a chocolate muffin and milk and finish the day eating instant Ramen noodles. Most of the week I was in pain – a rotating kind – where each day the suffering would migrate to a new part of the body. I had severe back issues for most of my second year in training, sprained ankles for most of my third, and uncountable cuts, bruises, bumps, and scars for the entire duration. I fought the flu at least 2 to 3 times a year. I ate randomly, whenever I wanted, and almost always the food contained sugar and white flour. I slept late, woke early, trained hard, and slept late again.

The outside projected pristine health – the glowing physical prowess of an athlete in training, full of youth, well-oiled body parts, and a fully revved engine. I was hitting red line RPMs with a smile on my face and eagerness in my heart. The totality of training was a way of being extreme, young, and fully alive.

I was definitely in shape but not healthy. Slowly, my body was falling apart. This youthful race car was starting to hiccup and limp to the finish line. By the time I completed my training I was strong, skilled – and injured. My grand denouement or final act at the circus school was a pulled rib cartilage that rendered me incapable of even sitting up on my own. I was condemned to four weeks of shallow breathing, slow walking, and much time to reflect.

There was a gradual dawning that although I could make the packaging look good, the contents inside were rotting. I needed to invest in better foods, wiser training habits, and more sleep. Health was an elusive benefit that not even a professional acrobat was privy too. You had to work for health too.

Although today I may not be doing the same number of flips, jumps, and spins as I did during my training, I consider my current state as one of the healthiest ever. I am mostly without pain, with the exception of the occasional intense workout. I eat well and allow myself to be indulgent when I want to be. When I’ve had enough of Thanksgiving turkey, apple pie, and cider beer, my body tells me and I naturally bounce back to eating fresh, organic foods again. My body knows health, and is attracted to it.

I’m not at my performance weight but not far from it. I train when my body feels like moving – which is almost every day, but not always. I sit and watch Friends reruns and then get up and hike in the desert. The definition of health has changed for me over the years and it is by far the healthiest yet.

I used to never drink, fast for days, do week long herbal cleanses, and exercise religiously. It was a regiment of to do’s to align myself with what I thought was true health. I felt great for a while, but in the end, lost the rhythm of the cleanse, changed exercise programs, and gravitated to a new type of fast. It wasn’t consistent.

My current understanding of true health is the ability to carefully listen to the needs of your body and act upon them. Over-training is as dangerous as not moving at all. Severe diets, cleanses, and fasts can be as detrimental as junk food for breakfast everyday. There is only one book that can give you the recipe for greater health, and that book is written by you.

To drink in consciousness, to eat ice cream in consciousness, and to watch football in consciousness is a greater sign of health than exercising because a sheet of paper, handed to you by your trainer, tells you to do so. Developing consciousness is the greatest catalyst for developing sustainable and natural health, because you already know what you need. All you have to do is listen for it, and then act upon it.

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